Negotiation is one of the most things we encounter in life, and many people don’t like it or it is very hard for them to into a conversation with someone and negotiate a deal, salary..etc. Negotiation is a very important skill to have in your life, it will certainly help you improve your life and force your position in society.
In This Article we will talk about:
- negotiation definition
- the art of negotiation and some tactics to well negotiate
- integrative negotiation and tips
Attack the enemy with the truth about them, their rules that they have violated
To gather information and repeat what the other side has told you to collect more info
I heard every word you said but it’s not enough I still don’t get it
mirror to build rapport
people love to be encouraged to go on and speak and express themselves more.
mirror confrontational people
hey, your price is too high!
my price is too high?
yeah, you know we can’t pay you that we got a limited budget.
you got a limited budget!
yeah we got other things to worry about
and so on.
So, here you get the other side to speak more and elaborate so you can understand more
and gather more information
So next time when someone is getting confrontational with you, try to mirror
Silence is golden
after a bit of time you need to be a silent, effective pause
labels are just verbal observations, you observe whether the person is angry, mad,…
after labeling the feeling of the person. you say to him these words
it seems like you are angry
it feels like you are angry
it sounds like ..
it looks like ..
How not to label
after labeling something and expressing it to the adversary person, let it sink in, don’t repeat it many times like as I said you seem angry about …
silence, in this case, is good, so after you made a great label, you shut the fuck up even if you have another great label, let the first one sink in.
sometimes you will have a negative response or no feelings after expressing a label, this means you are in the right path, just keep going until you reach
here are some words:
sounds like I haven’t gone far enough
sounds like there are feelings you have an about this that I haven’t quite touch yet.
Reinforce Positive Emotions
You call a calling center for customer service and they have put you on hold for long time,instead of being angry, here is the trick, you say to them
I appreciate you being generous with your time…
if feels like you are being so generouse with me right now…
after this the woman in calling center will treat you well and fix your issue and maybe with no charge
Mirroring and Labeling
in a discussion, you can use mirroring and labeling at the same time to squeeze the most amount of info you can.
Manipulate Mirror Neurons
the tune of voice is important, when someone is angry, you talk with a tune with low vive like the asmr voice, a relaxing voice. this lowers neuron frequency
of the other person.
my price is 34000$ with a tune kind of playful and funny. this is more converting than the assertive voice
a slower tune of voice, when you want to express something that is unremovable and no arguable.
The 7/38/55 rule
watch the sidelines
when you speak to someone, another person on the table is vulnerable and his body language is compromised, so you should always keep an eye on people around you
even if you are not talking to them, because they can show what another person you are talking to not showing
The Pinocchio effect
when someone uses more words to give you an answer, then you know they are lying so they are using more words trying to convince you
How to respond to a lie
I heard you telling that you are okay with the deal but “it seems like there is something bothering you or seems like there is something I missed” in this
sentence use confusion/curios voice
So, when someone is lying to you, they either feel like you are a treat to them or they don’t trust you. So the best way to let them trust you is to change
your voice tune and talk slowly with a relaxing voice, lower vibe like the voice you hear when you wanna go to bed hearing kid stories so that the other
side feel comfortable and trust you.
Creating the illusion of control
Ask “how” and “what” questions
“Why” is a very bad word to use when asking questions because it triggers defensiveness, instead you “what”.
why do you need delivery in 3 weeks: in this case they are going to worry about what’s wrong with the fact that I need delivery in 3 weeks. Instead when you use
What makes it necessary to deliver in 3 weeks: in this case, we don’t accuse the other side to be defensive, because people love to be asked what, so they can
answer what, so they feel in charge they feel in control.
Ask Questions to force empathy
how am I supposed to do that: when you tell someone a sentence like this you force empathy and make them feel guilty. This helps a lot in putting the ball in
the other side.
Ask legitimate questions
how we gonna move forward if we make this deal
how did you work with people like me in the past
how did you make this deal in the past
with this kind of question you make the other side believe that you starting to trust him and that he has full control of the situation.
The Accusation Audit
the goal here is to get all the possible negative emotions that you think the other side is thinking of you and then throw them at the beginning of the negotiation
you want the other side to say “Hold on, you’re being too hard on yourself”.
you might think I am a bad guy and want to take all your money and that’s okay if you want we will not make this deal…the other side must feel that you are
being too hard on yourself and start trusting you.
Fear of loss
Always when negotiating, think what people are going to lose if they don’t take your deal, because people fear loss.
work with us, and you will make 23% more money. or you can say
choose not to work with us and stay where you are, don’t change anything and it’s gonna cost you 23% every day.
because people are afraid of losing, they are going to take your deal.
Appeal to their sense of fairness
always try to make people think that they are getting a fair deal.
Responding to the F-Bomb
When someone tries to use a fair technique against you and saying that this a fair deal. Then if you don’t accept, this puts you in a bad position as you are the one
who is not fair in the deal.
You say: I am happy to be shown how I have been unfair, show me the information, I am open to the learning, let me see what it is.
In this case, the other side they either don’t have the unfair deal that they are saying they try not to make it with you or they are lying and they don’t have it
So, the proper way when you are dealing with someone is to say:
It’s my intention to treat you fairly if at any point in time I have been unfair, let me know, we will go back and fix it.
Deadlines are meaningless
Deadlines are made to make progress whether they are true or not.
How to respond to deadlines
use labels like:
It seems like you are under a lot of pressure here.
It seems like the world will come to an end it we don’t meet that deadline
use “what” and “how” questions:
What happens if we don’t get this done in time.
how we gonna make it, if we don’t meet your deadline.
The Ackerman System
when bargaining on something you wanna buy always start with the worst price like 65% of the real price you wanna buy with, the increase progressively until
you reach your target price or sometimes you might even buy it for less.
price of the seller:250$
the price you wanna pay:100$
I don’t wanna tell you my price because you are going to feel offended
then the seller gonna tell you just go ahead tell me how much you ganna pay
you will tell him I going to give you 65$=100$x65%
then after bargaining, you start increasing bu 85%,90%…until you get to your price.
then if you reach your price 100$, don’t give it always take an odd number like 97.43$
My method is always dividing the price by 50% then start increasing.
This relies on discovering the peace of information that no one was expecting and that can change the whole process of negotiation